British society has evolved beyond recognition over the past few decades. These two clips demonstrate just how much.
First, we have a celebrated sketch from The Frost Report in 1966 featuring John Cleese, who would later find fame with Monty Python and Fawlty Towers, and the two Ronnies (Barker and Corbett).
And here's an updated version from the BBC's Millennium Eve programme:
The subtitles on the second clip contain a number of mistakes, so here's a transcript:
And here's an updated version from the BBC's Millennium Eve programme:
The subtitles on the second clip contain a number of mistakes, so here's a transcript:
Stephen Fry: I'm modern man. (looking down on the two Ronnies) I look down on them because I am from a more advanced society.
Ronnie B: I am Renaissance man. I look up to him (Stephen Fry) because he is on average four inches taller then I am. But I look down on him (Ronnie C) because he is a smelly ignorant serf.
Ronnie C: I'm Medieval man. I look up to them (Stephen Fry, Ronnie B) because I am a smelly, ignorant serf. I live in a one room hovel made of straw and manure.
Stephen Fry: I live in a new Barratts estate. So I envy him (Ronnie C). However, I do have hot and cold running water, a car, a Yamaha piano, a TV and a new video. Although I don't know how to work it.
Ronnie B: I have cold running water, a map of the world, which includes the Americas, a telescope, and the collective works of Homer, in thirty-nine weekly parts.
Ronnie C: I have a pig. Although I don't know how to work it. I am so ignorant I think that the sun goes to bed at night.
Ronnie B: I think the sun revolves around the earth.
Stephen Fry: I think the sun shines out of my trousers.
Ronnie C: I work as a weaver, for that reason, I'm called Mr Weaver.
Ronnie B: I'm A miller, so I am called Mr Miller.
Stephen Fry: My name's Ramsbottom, So I am called Sir.
Ronnie C: I have a hard life. I'm twenty-three. I have one day off a year when we get drunk and hit each other with pig bladders on sticks.
Stephen Fry: I have two days off a week when I watch TV and go to Homebase.
Ronnie B: I have one day off a week when I go to church. But I must admit the pig's bladder thing sounds a lot more fun.
Ronnie C: I'm feudal. I believe in doing what his Lordship tells me.
Ronnie B: I'm an optimist. I believe in progress.
Stephen Fry: I'm New Labour. So I don't believe in anything.
Ronnie B: I encourage education. I teach my children to read.
Ronnie C: My children don't have a school, so they can't read.
Stephen Fry: My children go to Comprehensive school. So they can't read either.
Ronnie B: Throughout the history of Britain some things never change.
Ronnie C: I blame the Normans. I hate the French because they beat us in 1066.
Stephen Fry: I hate the French because they beat us in 1998.
Ronnie B: I just hate the French. I don't need a reason.
Stephen Fry: All in all, I think my life is better then theirs (Ronnie B and Ronnie C).
Ronnie B: I think my life is not as good as his (Stephen Fry) but better then his (Ronnie C).
Ronnie C: I'm a smelly, ignorant serf but at least I don't have to put up with pollution, global warming, nuclear war, GM foods, stress and Carol Vorderman. Whoever he is.
Comment: I wonder who the characters in a 2008 version of the sketch would be. Any suggestions?